Fear: More Than a Condition

You know, when I think about fear, I’m not only thinking about what a necromancer annoyingly inflicts on me; I’m not stuck on how repetitive the Claw of Jormag can be with roaring and causing me to run in terror; I’m not pondering on the cute little flashy icon for fear in Guild Wars 2. Fear means so much more than that.

Fear is a handicap. Fear debilitates. Fear is a Corrupted Ice Shield that takes forever to break through. (Yes, I’ve got a Claw theme going on here. You get the picture.) I’ve spent the last few days wondering:

“What is it that you fear most that holds you back in Guild Wars 2?”

Look, I’ll be honest. I’ve had some bad experiences in Guild Wars 1 with PvP, I must admit. Playing my assassin, doing pretty good in PvP, but then getting flamed out the ears (rear?) for not doing better. This led to more terror in doing PvP in other games. Sure, I had a bit of a confidence boost when I played a Cleric in Rift and had some people who consistently complimented me for being a great healer every game, but then in SWTOR I got flamed again. It came to GW2 and I dabbled here and there, but progressively became more and more terrified to try it. Even WvW, a guild had to force me to join them. What’s my issue?

I fear failure.

This flows into life as a whole, but I’m not wanting to get that deep today (even though sometimes I can’t help myself). I’m scared of letting my team down of people I’ve never met and may never see online again. I’m scared of my best not being good enough. I’m scared that somehow, I’ll make a bad name for myself and then people will mark me as someone to report and hate.

Frankly, when does it matter what others think of you? Yes, I’m all for treating others with respect and approaching your relationships to one another with humility, but to fear playing poorly in PvP? For goodness sakes, I need to get a hold of myself. I guess this is a confession, that I let fear take control of even my gaming–a time to relax, breathe, and have fun! “It’s just a game,” I tell myself… but if I let myself have that same condition be applied to me tick by tick, I’m never going to become a better gamer, guardian, or person.

So today, I PvP’d. I won one, I lost one, and I lost another. Want to know something? I don’t care because I had fun. Failure? Pfft. Yes, I’m open for criticism and want to be better, but I’m never going to do it by being afraid of clicking “Hot Join.” Whether it’s real life, Tyria, or any other online world, fear isn’t going to do you any favours. If one of your real life utilities isn’t a Signet of Resolve, fear is going to get the best of you. So I ask again and invite you to comment below:

“What is it that you fear most that holds you back in Guild Wars 2?”

Asmund, Slayer of Dragons and Briar's Bane fears nothing.

Asmund, Slayer of Dragons and Briar’s Bane fears nothing–what about you?

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3 thoughts on “Fear: More Than a Condition

  1. You know, that used to be my fear too! I am probably the least competitive person in the whole universe, so if I do PvP is simply to try to have some fun. What stopped me from trying it is because I always feared that I would ruin someone else’s fun by sucking.
    I just decided that if Hot Join is probably full of people like me, then why should I worry so much?
    But yeah, be it online or offline, many people (including myself) may opt for the safer, less exciting route.

    • If everyone was worried about ruining everybody’s fun, nobody would play games. Sure, there are haters out there, but whatever.

      Hot Join is totally full of people like us. Yeah, we’ll probably drag some people down, but hopefully they’ll be mature enough to offer people like me some advice on how to improve. If not, then I still have another game under my belt. 🙂

  2. Pingback: This week in Guild Wars 2, 3-9 May | GuildMag

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