Tequatl’s Demise

[ANGL] took out Tequatl--with the help of many!

[ANGL] took out Tequatl–with the help of many!

One of the most exciting experiences I’ve had in Guild Wars 2 was on Friday night where the guild I’m in, [ANGL], took out Tequatl. Not just took him out, but spawned him, rallied forces around Tyria, and organized something we had never done. It was a great beginning, an exciting experience, and a great time using some leadership skills. My wife, Briony, commanded north defence. I oversaw north turrets as well as co-oversaw the zerg. We had many other guildies including Death Talker (otherwise known as Wolfie) who commanded everything as a whole and was the brain of pulling it all together. Although our first phase and first battery defence took a bit of time to get into, we started rocking it!

I’m not going to give any details on how to take down Tequatl. Greater minds than I have come before me to prepare all of it for you. Have you ever heard of [TTS]? They’ve laid out an amazing explanation of how Tequatl works here. You can also check out with Dulfy’s guide here.

The biggest advice I could give is to listen to the commander of the map, and know exactly how Tequatl works. The spine of it all are the turrets, which I usually love running (although I’ve been having connection issues lately). Keep his scales down, and you’re looking at a victory. Still, for everyone to know: never quit Tequatl until either he’s dead, or the timer’s up. I’ve seen so many people quit because there’s 3 minutes left. When I’ve seen one burn phase move to a battery defence, to a burn phase, etc. Stay focused, stack might, and keep pushing and you’ll take down Tequatl if you’re following the guides.

So it was a proud moment for [ANGL] and we hope to do more of spawning Tequatl as a Guild World Event. It’s my favourite encounter in the game (I’ve taken down the Three-Headed Wurm, but prefer Tequatl) and my wife and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without people who put confidence in us and have built us to where we are today with Tequatl.

Special Thanks To:

  • Lerif, who commands Tequatl with a kind heart and great encouragement. You’re always a pleasure to play GW2 with, and you taught us everything we know about Tequatl.
  • Briony, my wife, who laughs her way through the good and bad runs and events.
  • Wolfie, who pulled together our Guild Tequatl event.
  • Hafreeze, who has been my turret buddy during my entire vacation.
  • Bob and Miri, who also took over commanding areas and I’m so thankful because we couldn’t have done it without you!
  • [TTS], because you’re always kind to me even though I’m not part of your guild, and you’re always positively responsive when I’m wanting to help.
  • All of [ANGL] because, hey, I love you guys.
  • All of those who joined in that aren’t part of [ANGL] because you made Tequatl possible.
  • Finally, to ArenaNet for the mind-blowing game that you’re building into an even greater game with every passing month. Thank you, for your kind words and support of my blog, as well as the joys and memories I’ve been able to make in game–it’s all because of you.
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The Great Key Farm

Ever wanted to key farm? Check below for my guide!

So once in a while, my wife and I get it into our heads that we need to get a Black Lion Ticket in order to buy the latest weapon skin. Before the Tormented Skins went up to 5, we decided that we should try to make the ugliest characters possible. Of course, this escalated into me making a huge series of different characters which contained some of the following:

  • Sir Husky, the shirtless, masculine, super sexy warrior that spent most of his whole key farm shirtless.
  • Captain Patrikson, a bearded pirate who was in love with a creepy necromancer named Death Granny–because hey, Captain Patrikson has no standards or dignity.
  • The aforementioned Death Granny, who was a creepy old lady that would lure children to her basement to take their soul. Ok, actually, she’d just flat out take people’s souls. This turned into a huge laughter fest (in a creepy way) over lines like:
    • Come in, sweetie! Granny wants to use your innards to make you a friend!
      • The lesson? Never trust a creepy old necromancer of a lady. You’d be better off going into a gingerbread house.
  • Ugly Mugg (where Big Nose Ted was a huge improvement)
  • Captain Keyrk
  • Poor Keypig (ok, the name started with me saying “Porkey Pig” and a guildie took it to a beautiful new level)
  • My terrible, ugly, Michael Jackson-David Bowie love child, whose name I completely forget (find that picture down below).
  • Benedict Cumberbatch.

That’s right. You heard me. Benedict Cumberbatch. Why? Because he’s awesome. Coolest voice on earth (tied with Leonard Nimoy, with Morgan Freeman coming in a close second).

When you can make any character you want for fun, why not make Benedict Cumberbatch?

When you can make any character you want for fun, why not make Benedict Cumberbatch?

If you could choose to be anyone for key farming, why wouldn’t you be Benedict Cumberbatch? Of course, the full name wouldn’t fit giving naming length restrictions, but come on! Sherlock, Khan, Smaug, and now an Elementalist. This guy is pretty awesome. Well, he was until he got his key… then he was deleted into the Mists, or wherever deleted toons go.


Asmund’s Guide to Key Farming

  1. Roll a Human with the commoner storyline. In timing all the quick storylines, this has been the quickest for me.
    • Hint: I much prefer using a Necromancer if I’m soloing.
      • If you choose Necro, use the intro to try to unlock as many Death Shroud traits as possible.
  2. After completion the introduction, be sure to grab a long-ranged weapon for whatever profession you’re using. Staff is usually a good choice for a lot of professions that use it, as they have a lot of AoEs, especially with the Necromancer.
  3. Follow your personal story, unlocking as many skills as possible for your chosen profession.
  4. When you reach the Personal Story quest, Infiltration, be sure to choose the hospital (not the orphanage).
  5. The Hospital in Jeopardy is much easier than Arson at the Orphanage. I find myself dying much less.
    • In your key farm, this is one of the hardest quests to do in the human commoner storyline.
    • Watch out for Deadeye Della, as her long-range attacks tend to do serious damage to an under-levelled character that key farmers are.
    • If you have too much trouble, do another heart or two to level up if needed.
    • Dodge, dodge, dodge.
    • Try to pull mobs out of the hospital, one by one if possible.
  6. Finally, you’ll reach the Commander, which is the last personal story quest before you get your key!
    • Let Logan and Anise do most of the effort on this battle.
    • Watch out for the Ministry Guards with rifles. They’ll snipe you before you get the chance to react.
    • Feel free to hang out in the cell for a little bit.
    • Once the boss goes down, you’re good to go!

Congratulations! You’ve gained a Black Lion Key! My wife and I duo it and usually take about 15-17 minutes per key. It’s an exciting thing to do, is very easy, and can sometimes be rewarding (if the great RNG gods show their favour on you), but the best part is making interesting characters–even the ugliest things you’ve ever seen.

I’ll leave my Michael Jackson-David Bowie freak to bid you adieu.

He-Who-Is-Too-Ugly-To-Be-Named

He-Who-Is-Too-Ugly-To-Be-Named

I’d love to see your ugly or creative key farmer creations! Link them below!

Memories, New and Old

Do you ever think back on a video game you used to play and get those “warm fuzzies” deep down? Maybe it’s the Zelda Theme that sparks something inside of you? It could be Diablo II. Maybe it’s the first time you ever caught Mewtwo in Pokémon Red or Blue? Ok, I’m giving away some of my most nostalgic memories of video games. Whether it’s the sound of the Magus Theme from Chrono Trigger, or that first moment I saw the Searing happen in Guild Wars, I’m filled with memories that stick with me and help me revisit them to at least some degree. They may never seem the same when I try to play these games nowadays because the time has come and gone.

The problem we often experience is that everybody (young or old) tend to fall into the trap of dreaming about the “golden days.” We end up with selective memory and think that things in the past were clearly much better than they are today. Yes, there were great times, but we can’t relive them. Instead, I offer a different approach.

Make new memories.

This takes work. We have to choose not to be (negatively) critical about what we’re playing, and open ourselves up for new experiences that we’ll enjoy. Sometimes I think, especially as the larger gamer community, we tend to critique a little too much. Check out any video game forums to see that happen.

No, I propose we look at what we love and what sparks our imaginations. This isn’t to say we lie to ourselves and admit we love everything about a game, but instead we should make the game a journey to be discovered. In the same way you would eat a rich cake, or would take in the sound of a symphony, we should breathe in such beautiful experiences instead of rushing on by.

Make new memories by listening to the music, staring at new sights, and choosing to get extremely excited over the little victories and accomplishments.

With that being said, let me share two super exciting memories that I’ve just made in the past month!

My first Ascended Weapon!

My first Ascended Weapon!

It took me about two months to get all of my mats together (and cost me way too much gold), but it was a victory that’s well worth it! Why not get a legendary, you say? Because I actually really don’t like the look of most of the legendaries, and find it’ll take me way too much work that doesn’t fit in with my schedule. I’m ok with that, and would much prefer to grab some more ascended weapons as time goes on! The beautiful thing in GW2 is that there are a lot of options for what you want to work on, so choose something and work towards it. It was rewarding for me!

My Mini Armored Scarlet!

My Mini Armored Scarlet!

This was one of my favourite memories to be made. After beating Scarlet and finishing Season 1 of the Living Story, I felt it was the time to celebrate. When I was interested in grabbing one, it was pretty easy. It ran me 500 Gems though. I purchased the Scarlet’s Champion Mini 3-Pack from the Gem Store, threw it into the Mystic Forge with one Mai Trin Mini (found on the TP), and voila! Mini Armored Scarlet Briar. I was quite pleased, especially since I can crush her with my boot, should she ever get out of hand.

There are many more memories to be made, so my question today for you is:

What’s your favourite memory of Guild Wars 2 so far?
Answer in the comment section! I’d love to hear from you!